Breast and nipple stimulation: what you must know for better sex

photo-of-womans-breast-from-bengarland-via-flickr-creative-commons

Although breast and nipple stimulation are common elements of sex play, it’s not unusual for couples to have different ideas of just exactly how nipples and breasts should be stimulated. People often ask me how to touch their partner’s breasts (boobs) for better sex. When in doubt, take your partner’s word for their preferences! Ask your partner how he or she likes to be touched. If you’re not sure what he or she means, ask your partner to show you on their own body or on your body, even if just briefly.

Often, when it comes to nipple and breast sex play, people find it surprising but helpful to understand a bit about breast sensation. For example, although the nipples come to mind for many people when they think about sex, in fact the nipples are the least sensitive part of women’s breasts, according to some research. So what makes top grade when it comes to breast sensation? The tops and bottoms of the breasts, then the sides, followed by the areola (the darker area surrounding the nipples) and finally the nipples. 

That doesn’t mean that just because an area is sensitive that it’s the part that women or men want to have touched during sex play, but it does give some sense of how breast touch may feel different on different parts – and for different people (particularly as women with smaller breasts often have more sensitive breasts than women with larger cup sizes, according to research).  

To experiment with different types of breast play, try touching your own chest or breasts in different areas – the tops, bottoms, sides, etc. What feels good? What parts feel arousing to be touched? Are there different types of touch or rhythms that you enjoy more or less than others? How do you enjoy touching a partner?

In my forthcoming book, Because It Feels Good (which you can pre-order on Amazon.com) you can find specific suggestions about how couples can use show and tell exercises to learn what types of touch and sex play feel good for each other, thus resulting in better, more pleasurable sex.

[Image by bengarland via Flickr Creative Commons.]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at www.sexualhealth.indiana.edu.

  • http://aea81.blog.terra.com.br/ Anderson Eustáquio de Azevedo.

    You’ve got a very good blog! Up to now, I’ll be visiting regularly. I liked the way you write, direct and easily understanding. Congrats!

  • http://aea81.blog.terra.com.br Anderson Eustáquio de Azevedo. BH/MG

    You’ve got a very good blog! Up to now, I’ll be visiting regularly. I liked the way you write, direct and easily understanding. Congrats!

  • http://Mtsexprofessor.com Nazia

    I want to know how to play with the breast

  • http://Mtsexprofessor.com/ Nazia

    I want to know how to play with the breast

  • Bob the Chef

    Physical sensitivity takes second place to how psychologically erotic sucking certain parts of the body is. The nipple is the focal point of the breast, and while it may be less sensitive than the top portion of the breast, the arousal of having it sucked may, at least for some, exceed the arousal of having the surrounding breast stimulated. The reverse is also true. Women will found it extremely arousing to have the surrounding vagina licked, perhaps even more the clitoris itself. The clitoris is the major focal point of pleasure on the vagina, but stimulation of the surrounding tissue brings to fruition a greater pleasure than restricted stimulation of the clitoris. The same applied to men. The glans is the most sensitive part of the penis. Having it stimulated is quite wonderful, but the overall experience is enhanced by having other parts of the genitals stimulated as well. It boils down, as you say, to the variety of sensations that different parts of the body lend themselves to. It’s stupid to focus on technique while neglecting the principle that generating various sensations can be used to create an erotic symphony of pleasure and arousal. If people employed a little but of imagination and daring, then the “technique” would flow out of it all. The women isn’t a machine you smack and poke. She is a human being who wants to be loved, and when loved, she will want to expose herself to you and have you touch her everywhere to bring you closer by becoming vulnerable in your presence. The male anatomy is largely the same as the female’s, and so anyone that thinks it’s a mystery really lacks imagination and insight. Sex isn’t whack-a-mole. It’s about satisfying the vulnerability of your partner. Know others by knowing yourself.

  • Bob the Chef

    Physical sensitivity takes second place to how psychologically erotic sucking certain parts of the body is. The nipple is the focal point of the breast, and while it may be less sensitive than the top portion of the breast, the arousal of having it sucked may, at least for some, exceed the arousal of having the surrounding breast stimulated. The reverse is also true. Women will found it extremely arousing to have the surrounding vagina licked, perhaps even more the clitoris itself. The clitoris is the major focal point of pleasure on the vagina, but stimulation of the surrounding tissue brings to fruition a greater pleasure than restricted stimulation of the clitoris. The same applied to men. The glans is the most sensitive part of the penis. Having it stimulated is quite wonderful, but the overall experience is enhanced by having other parts of the genitals stimulated as well. It boils down, as you say, to the variety of sensations that different parts of the body lend themselves to. It’s stupid to focus on technique while neglecting the principle that generating various sensations can be used to create an erotic symphony of pleasure and arousal. If people employed a little but of imagination and daring, then the “technique” would flow out of it all. The women isn’t a machine you smack and poke. She is a human being who wants to be loved, and when loved, she will want to expose herself to you and have you touch her everywhere to bring you closer by becoming vulnerable in your presence. The male anatomy is largely the same as the female’s, and so anyone that thinks it’s a mystery really lacks imagination and insight. Sex isn’t whack-a-mole. It’s about satisfying the vulnerability of your partner. Know others by knowing yourself.

  • Rohitpatel_padra

    i will explain it.