Better Oral Sex Tip #4: How to make oral sex feel more pleasurable.

Tip #4 for Yummifying Oral Sex: Practice without pressure.

Our previous three tips for yummifying oral sex have been mostly about how to make it better and more enjoyable as a giver. This week’s tip is all about the giver.

The fact is that not all women and men enjoy receiving oral sex. Those that want to learn to enjoy it, or to orgasm from it, don’t always know what steps they might take in that direction. Here are some possibilities to get you thinking… and maybe even enjoying:

Practice by yourself. Ladies – some women swear that the new Sasi toy (available at feels like cunnilingus. Women who are open to oral sex, but who want to enjoy similar sensations in a more private environment might want to give this or a similar toy a try. Men, too, might find that trying to make their masturbation feel more similar to sex (e.g., wetter or warmer) might try different types or amounts of lubricants (e.g., a lot vs. a little, warming vs. not warming) or different visual fantasies.

Practice together. Often couples think of oral sex as something that must result in orgasm. However, why limit yourself? Practicing with the goal of pleasure – rather than orgasm – can take performance pressure off of both the giver and receiver. Try enjoying oral sex as a sensual experience, without any expectation of it leading to orgasm, and see how that influences your pleasure. 

Remember: oral sex is just another way to enjoy sexual play and sharing. It is not a mythical or magical form of sex, nor is it anything that anyone “must” engage in. If you do engage in oral sex, though, try to be open to techniques and styles that enhance both partners’ pleasure. Learn more about oral sex techniques, sex toys and more in my fun new book, Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction (save money by pre-ordering your copy on Amazon).

Related MSP Posts:
- How to Finger a Woman: Safe, Pleasurable Techniques
- How to Have Sex in the Shower (Comfortably): Five Tips
- How to Make Oral Sex Better (Tip #1) : Decide That You Like It
- Oral Sex Techniques and Games for Couples: Flavored Body Sugar
- MSP Q&A: Trimming Pubic Hair

[Originally published in my weekly sex column at]

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at