Book Reviews

Recent posts

Reply to comment about men’s penis size and genital anxieties

Reader JH recently left a comment in response to our NPR/Kinsey Confidential podcast that I’d like to respond to here on the blog. First, I agree that much of men’s penis anxiety surrounds the fact that at some point when they choose to become sexual with a partner, they have to kind of “reveal themselves” and that can be very scary for men. Men who are average or small may worry that they are too small. Men who are quite big often worry whether their partner will accept or reject them. In other words, an awful lot of men worry about rejection or disappointment in regard to their penis. Continue Reading →

Love is a battlefield?

"Love is helping someone through his battles." – Charles M. Schulz/Peanuts, from a worn 1979 copy of Love is… Walking Hand-in-Hand
Which means that love might be:
- supporting a partner deal with anxiety over work or school, or a sick parent
- helping a child deal with teasing or bullying at school
- being there for your mom or dad when they’re grieving or ailing or needing things fixed around the house
- letting yourself (yes, you should love yourself in this way too) take time to heal, or take time to forgive when you’ve been hurt
- letting your partner know that, even though you two are having bumps in the road right now, you’ll stick through this thing with them
- opening your home to a friend who is sad or in pain, or not sure where else to go
- volunteering in your community or your child’s school as they work through some growing pains and move toward their vision
How do you show your love? How do you support others (and yourself)? Continue Reading →

My tips in Best Life magazine

In the February issue of Best Life magazine, I advise men on how to respond to a wife/girlfriend/partner who says she wants to boycott Valentine’s day (okay, they said "wife" because husbands are Best Life’s demographic, but I’m adding girlfriend/partner). I actually did these interview for Best Life months and months and months ago. Magazines prepare for issues very far in advance. Right now, many are working on their June issues already! You can read my thoughts and poke around the Best Life web site here. Continue Reading →

Middle of the night

"Love is getting someone a glass of water in the middle of the night." – Charles M. Schulz, in a worn 1979 copy of Love is… Walking Hand-in-Hand
I have always felt that I have to have a glass of water on my night stand before I fall sleep. When I arrive at a hotel or stay at a friend’s house, the side of the bed I will sleep on is completely determined by which side I can access a night stand from. Because of this habit, I have long had a special place in my heart – well, okay, I have even fallen – for people who will get up in the middle of the night to get me a drink of water if I need one. And I’ve also, when watching friends’ children overnight, felt really good to have the chance to get a drink of water for a child who wants one. Continue Reading →

The life of a marriage… this one being US journalists in Baghdad

I am an absolute fiend for real-life stories from people’s relationships and marriages. I crave for people to open themselves to the world while keeping private the things that they need to keep private. I feel like we can learn about ourselves and grow our own relationships when we hear not only about the glories – but also the challenges - of other people’s relationships and tries at love. Here, in this New York Times article about American journalists working in Iraq, is an interesting look at the ups and downs of such a marriage. The author is Damien Cave. Continue Reading →

Go team!

"Love is rooting together for your team." – Peanuts/Charles Schulz
Every now and again I take out a worn-out 1979 copy of Love is… Walking Hand-in-Hand, a book that I must have borrowed from and, um, forgotten to return to my childhood friend (sorry, Darinca) as I found her name scrawled in the front of it. In honor of the NFL playoffs… and in celebration of the ways that couples often come together to spend football Sundays or other sports events together, I thought you might enjoy this picture. Though I was never particularly good at sports, I have usually been up to learning about and enjoying them with a significant other or a really good friend. Continue Reading →

New books related to sexual desire

I haven’t read either of them yet… am debating about whether or not I should (there are tons of sex and relationship books out there, very few of which have been written by individuals who have done real work – research or in clinical practice – in the area). Then again, sometimes good books come out of other types of backgrounds and experiences. Here is a Q&A from USA Today about the new books, in case you are interested. Continue Reading →

MSP Book of the Week


This week’s MSP Book of the Week is How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan. This book is a classic in the field of sex therapy and provides very good descriptions of how men can use the stop-start technique and/or the squeeze technique to learn to control the timing of their ejaculation. Continue Reading →

Body Drama

After only a little bit of waiting, and a few very nice email exchanges with the author , I received my copy of Nancy Redd’s Body Drama and am making my way through it. At first glance, this book is not only visually beautiful and stunning (thanks to images of REAL women’s bodies and vulvas and tummies and breasts) but it’s smart, too. I’ll write more once I’ve had a chance to read the whole thing. Visit Nancy’s web site here and please do check out her book. Continue Reading →