In my quest to research and read more about all aspects of sexuality–and also find some good, entertaining erotica to read–I’m happy to have found a site called Adventurotica, which features not only erotic fiction but also essays about various sexual topics. While as a scholar I’ll read darn near anything out of curiosity or to analyze its social relevance, as a sex-positive feminist I am deeply concerned with how the fiction I read presents sexuality: is sex something that just happens to women, something that women actively pursue, or what? I’m pleased with how the authors at Adventurotica represent women’s desire (and men’s, too!) as fluid and something to be explored and enjoyed. Ranging from short stories to serialized novels, from vanilla sex to increasingly kinky scenes, the fiction is overall fun, and well-written too (thank goodness, since I can’t get into a story if it’s poorly written!). So while the fiction is neat, I also really dig the analytical essays, for instance, this one on the difference between erotica and porn (hint: it’s more subjective than you think!). Continue Reading →
Sexual Pleasure
Recent posts
The Joys Of Manual Pleasure
Sometimes “hand jobs” get a bad rap. “Intercourse’s [or a blow job's] poor cousin,” some people say. And as it applies to women, “fingering,” while an accurate descriptor for some vulva/vagina stimulation activities, evokes a rapid in-out motion of finger-in-vagina, which is insufficient for most women to to experience orgasm. The phrase often invoked to bring some legitimacy to the act, “mutual masturbation,” brings to mind more routine self-pleasure rather than the exchange of delicious, playful climaxes. Despite the negative press, the manual pleasuring of your partner’s sexy bits can be a delightful addition to your sexual repertoire. Continue Reading →
Being Sexually Submissive—Or Sexually Anything—Doesn’t Impact Your Competence
I love this piece by Clarisse Thorn investigating the links between some women’s sexual submission and the rest of their lives. To quote my favorite part:
“Sexual kinks don’t necessarily affect one’s performance in non-sexual fields. A sexually submissive woman won’t make a bad CEO (at least, not because she’s sexually submissive). I mean, come on, it’s not like there aren’t sexually submissive men in powerful corporate positions.” In short, your sexual preferences are just one part of your identity. Continue Reading →
Pleasure-Inclusive Sex Education
“I wish I’d been taught that in my sex ed” is something I hear quite often from participants in the “pleasure physiology” workshops that I teach. Clearly, sexual pleasure is important to most people, but rarely do we get comprehensive education on the subject unless we actively seek it out. In my workshops, I love talking about anatomy and physiology from a pleasure, rather than just reproductive, perspective and exploring how to eroticize safer sex practices. Certainly, I think that reproductive education is important, but when most folks have sex, it’s for pleasure, not procreation. Likewise, teaching about sexually-transmissible infections (STIs) is important, but the ever-popular “gloom-and-doom” approaches to STI prevention leave a lot to be desired. Continue Reading →
Where Do Desires Come From?
Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors influencing what people find desirable. Be warned, this is a somewhat rambling post, representing my attempt to get a hold on what is perhaps one of the trickiest aspects of sexuality: where desires come from. Some desires are likely connected to our evolution and our genes, such as the desire for traits that are adaptive to survival. Continue Reading →
“Piss”- A Short Film About A Real Relationship Issue: NSFW
I recently came across a short film on youtube called “Piss” (watch it on YouTube). Just a warning in case you didn’t read the title…this video is NSFW! However, if you happen to be sitting at home with nobody around but your cats, definitely check it out. I think it portrays a really common issue in modern relationships. The film depicts a young heterosexual couple trying to work out a kink in their sex life. Continue Reading →
Should Every Gay Guy Bottom? This Guy Thinks So.
Okay, so, I admit it. As finals are steadily approaching, I’ve been spending more and more time Stumbling and less time actually doing my work. It’s kind of a college student’s rite of passage…right? Anyway, I recently came across this video by Davey Wavey. According to his theory, every gay guy should bottom at some point. Continue Reading →
Sex Toy Review: MyPleasure Waterproof Pocket Rocket
Here we are in the middle of March and I still find myself wondering about how people spend romantic occasions, such as Valentine’s Day. Do you spend them with your partner or prefer flying solo? Do you go out to a fancy dinner or keep it low key and cook at home? Do you surprise a loved one with jewelry or maybe you’re more traditional and stick to the flower/chocolate combo? Well this year – whatever the occasion – I challenge you to spice things up – why not try a sex toy? Continue Reading →
I Wanna Do Queer Porn…So What?
So, I’m just gonna put it out there, I really want to do queer feminist porn. I’d love to participate in a project similar to the Crash Pad Series or Freedom Porn (which I blogged about earlier on). I want to be able to present my body and sexuality to viewers in a sex- and body-positive way that screams, “it’s good to love sex”! But there’s a problem. I am a white, Jewish, middle class woman being educated at a prestigious women’s college from a fairly wealthy suburb of Boston. Continue Reading →
Is Mary Jane Making You Impotent?
Though smoking weed is most commonly associated with a boost in libido, this article discusses recent research conducted at the University of Ottawa and Queen’s University in Canada that suggests a link between marijuana usage and male impotence (a falling-out-of-fashion term for erectile dysfunction). Past research on the effects of marijuana on sexual performance has been fairly contradictory. Continue Reading →