Sexual Pleasure

Recent posts

Stereotypes About Kink And Alternative Sexualities

Molly Ren’s post at The Frisky about the ridiculous assumptions people make about BDSM/kink got a chuckle out of me. Yes, a lot of folks assume that practitioners of BDSM (short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) are sex-crazed deviants… but that’s generally not true. In fact, if anything, practitioners of alternative sexuality lifestyles such as BDSM/kink and polyamory tend to have a heightened sense of consent and boundaries (arguments have been made about BDSM being a sexual orientation, but for now we’ll go with lifestyle). If anything, the insights and communication strategies from queer, poly, and non-normative relationships offer many benefits to straight, monogamous, and vanilla folks. Continue Reading →

The “Dating Rules” Idea

What’s up with the spate of rules that fathers make about dating their daughters? I’m sure you’ve all heard some variation of the whole “oh, so you’re dating my daughter, have I mentioned that I have a shotgun?” dating rules. Maybe they’re meant to be jokes, but they also communicate something very specific about what dating and sex are about: that boys will try to “take” sex from girls, and it’s the father’s job to lock up his daughter in order to protect her. Ugh, right? In this excellent blog post, TheFerrett deconstructs the notion that fathers should be overprotective of their daughters. Continue Reading →

Studying Something Is Not Condoning It

The 2014 debut of a new academic journal called Porn Studies (to be published by Routledge) has already created ripples: a petition is circulating to replace the board of editors with a more “balanced” membership, because apparently the current board is too “pro-porn.” I believe it’s important to study any and every aspect of human behavior, including (duh) the sexual. And it’s also important to note that studying a phenomenon is not the same thing as condoning it. We need better data on all kinds of sexual behavior before we can make sensible policies about it. However, as this Guardian article points out, there are potential links between the ready availability of violent pornography and violent sex acts in real life, which an entirely pro-pornography board of editors might miss if they end up being too biased to publish articles on all aspects of pornography. Continue Reading →

What a Fashion Publicist Can Teach You About Sex

In an effort to not forget some of the wise advice I’ve read over the past year, I’ve recently been rereading certain chapters of books I’ve flagged on my bookshelf. (Side note: Never borrow a book from me; they’re all marked up with pen and flagged with neon Post-it notes.)

Getting to the point: I was rereading Kelly Cutrone’s book, Normal Gets You Nowhere, and forgot how completely fantastic (not to mention hysterical!) her second chapter is. The title? “THE KELLA-SUTRA: If You’re Not Getting Fucked by Midnight, Go Home.” Continue Reading →

Why Buy a Luxury Sex Toy?

Looking at the variety of high-end sex toys from distributors like Good Vibrations, Babeland, and MySecretLuxury, the price tags can be hard to swallow. You might think, “why spend over $100 on something that I can get for $15?” Well, for starters, you can’t get it for $15. But let me take some time to convince you why luxury sex toys are worth a pretty penny. Safety:

Think all sex toys are safe? Continue Reading →

Fun Toys G-Vibe Review

I’ve reviewed a lot of sex toys. After a certain point, it seems like you’ve seen everything: there’s only so much you can do to make a dildo more than a dildo. So I’m always pleasantly surprised when I get to review a truly innovative sex toy. With that, I present the Fun Toys G-Vibe from My Secret Luxury. Though it looks like an oddly-hued duck bill, the unique double-flare shape of this toy makes for some serious creativity. Continue Reading →

My Love of Sex

I was thinking this morning of the difficulty some people have talking about sex – whether as a topic of news, politics, or health, or even about their own sexual life with the person they like or love and/or with whom they are being sexual. A conversation came back to me that I once had with a sort-of-partner who wasn’t one for talking about sex in the personal realm. I had said something to him about how I saw sex as a celebration and as a normal part of life, and so talking and laughing were part of all that. When this conversation came back to me today, the part about it being a celebration nagged at me. Although I often say that sex is a celebration, today I asked myself, “a celebration of what?” These were my gut reactions: for me, being sexual with another person is a celebration of being alive and of being human – in a very basic, fundamental way – with another person. Continue Reading →

Six Ways to Make the Most Out of Morning Sex

couple in bed together

Morning sex can be a delightful addition to your sexual repertoire. When you first wake up, it’s too early to worry about the stresses of the day, testosterone levels tend to be higher, and you’re already in bed. Even though movies tend to depict sex as a nighttime activity, the luxurious laziness of staying in bed a bit longer mixed with early morning lighting are great ingredients for sexy times. On a weekday, you might only have ten or fifteen minutes tops before you have to rush in the shower and head off to work. That might not seem like a lot, but with a little planning and the right attitude, morning sex can be an excellent way to build intimacy with your partner (or person you met the night before) and gets your day off to the right start. Continue Reading →

Attachment Parenting and Sexuality: Does Co-Sleeping Mean No Sex?

If you’ve been following my recent posts, you know that I’ve gotten a bit baby-obsessed as of late. No, it’s not the realization that my biological clock is ticking (though it definitely is), but in fact my new-found interest in parenting has stemmed from spending 18 hours a week at a baby boutique. Working in Western Massachusetts, I hear a lot about baby-wearing, green parenting, and, of course, co-sleeping. Co-sleeping, one of the three tenets of attachment parenting, is the practice of sleeping in the same bed as your child. Co-sleeping has tons of benefits, the most important of which is feeling close to your child. Continue Reading →