Love & Relationships

Recent posts

Love, On Opposite Schedules

Something that’s been on my mind lately is how to keep a relationship when you have an opposite schedule from your partner’s. I think relationships of any kind involve work, and can be difficult at times – so opposite or overlapping schedules may not be any more difficult than any other relationship, but might just require different strategies. As someone who has a schedule that tends to be opposite from my partner’s, we face our own set of challenges, but here’s my tips of what works for us. 1. Make sure to set aside time for each other. Continue Reading →

Wedding Season Reflections Part III: A Healthy Balance of Hard Work and Fun

For my final reflection, after celebrating the fact that there’s power vested in us and giving a few awesome sexual newbies wedding night advice, I wanted to talk about one of my favorite weddings of the summer. While I loved being present for all of these amazing nuptials (just like when I go see a play – it’s nice in the audience), but I really prefer being onstage. So I was happy to be a big part of my best friend’s wedding. In my role as “best man,” I had a lot of jobs to do. Some prescribed by the bride and groom, and some prescribed by society. Continue Reading →

What do Helen Hunt and Sex Surrogacy Have in Common?

image courtesy of

Quite a lot, it turns out. A few weeks ago, I watched The Sessions, a new film starring Hunt as Cheryl Cohen Greene, a California-based sex surrogate. What is sex surrogacy, you may ask? I asked myself the same thing. When my mom first proposed that we watch the movie together and explained a bit of the premise, I was dubious. Continue Reading →

Why Buy a Luxury Sex Toy?

Looking at the variety of high-end sex toys from distributors like Good Vibrations, Babeland, and MySecretLuxury, the price tags can be hard to swallow. You might think, “why spend over $100 on something that I can get for $15?” Well, for starters, you can’t get it for $15. But let me take some time to convince you why luxury sex toys are worth a pretty penny. Safety:

Think all sex toys are safe? Continue Reading →

Fun Toys G-Vibe Review

I’ve reviewed a lot of sex toys. After a certain point, it seems like you’ve seen everything: there’s only so much you can do to make a dildo more than a dildo. So I’m always pleasantly surprised when I get to review a truly innovative sex toy. With that, I present the Fun Toys G-Vibe from My Secret Luxury. Though it looks like an oddly-hued duck bill, the unique double-flare shape of this toy makes for some serious creativity. Continue Reading →

Act Less Gay For A Better Life?

An article I read recently hit a nerve. Apparently some teachers are telling kids that are being bullied that they need to act less gay. While this article is from England, I think that it is applicable for almost anywhere. The article from the London Evening Standard acknowledges that some children are teased for their sexuality, and I not only see this happen in college environments daily, but also witnessed it in my junior high and high school. A friend of mine actually started an organization, Write Your Principal, partially due to the bullying that LGBTQIQ students have had to face and also due to her own experiences. Continue Reading →

Some Thoughts On Harassment And Consent

How to deal with harassment – street harassment like catcalls, as well as persistent attempts to flirt – is an ongoing topic in feminist circles (as it should be). There are frequently misunderstandings, however, about what harassment actually means, and why it’s considered a big deal. This Brute Reason post lays out a lot of reasons why the men who say “But I’d love that kind of/that much attention!” aren’t actually talking about street harassment. They fail to understand that harassment is, by its nature, unwanted attention. Continue Reading →

How I Became a Sex Educator: Lessons from My Mom

Most sex educators I know are constantly being asked why they go into the work they do. Fair enough, I think, since it’s a bit surprising when people learn that someone’s chosen to spend their days talking about a subject that most people find uncomfortable. I think it’s exactly that discomfort that inspires many sex educators to pursue their field. Sex is a near-universal human experience, yet it’s clouded by cultural shame, embarrassment, and mis-information. The light bulb moments that can occur as the result of actually talking about sex are powerful (and sometimes even healing). Continue Reading →

Having The ‘What Are We?” Talk: Friends Who Have Sex? Dating? Relationship?

Liking/loving other people has always been tricky; this isn’t specific to modern times, online dating, hookup culture, or texting. Earlier this week I was being interviewed by a woman in her 50s for a book. She asked me about friends with benefits and I relayed a conversation I once had with a certain feminist icon who, years ago, had said to me how silly it was that the media framed friends with benefits as anything new. “We were having sex with our friends in the ‘60s and 70s!”, she said to me. “We just didn’t call it that.” The interviewer left “interviewer mode” for a moment and laughed, telling me just how true that was of her experience, too. Continue Reading →

The 501 Day Date

Would you want to spend 501 together with your sweetie? Most couples spend lots of time together, but how often do you even spend seven days completely together? According to an article on CNET, a “wealthy space tourist” is hoping to send a man and woman couple (what if there was an equally prepared gay couple?) on a 501 day trip to Mars. The flight is described as “bare bones” so don’t expect a mint on your pillow each night, if you’re considering applying. Author Homer Hickham, is quoted in the article as stating, “A married couple in a bathroom for 501 days? Continue Reading →