How to Have Sex

Recent posts

A Drink to Help You Orgasm?

I’ve become so accustomed to the bombardment of flavored drinks claiming to heighten my daily performance that I usually pass them over…but something about the name “NeuroGasm” made me stop to pause. A friend of mine stumbled across the drink (now called NeuroPassion) in her campus store, and I just couldn’t help but blog about it!  Maybe it’s the fact that the label boasts the drink’s ability to “support the pleasure response,” or maybe it was just that the bottle is remarkably phallic, but I knew I had to do some deeper digging. So, here’s the lowdown on NeuroGasm! The drink is manufactured by NeuroDrinks, a company that claims to:

“offer consumers an alternative to products that perpetuate our self-medicating caffeine-dependent society. Designed to sustain and enhance your active lifestyle with natural ingredients, each beverage is packed with essential vitamins, minerals, amino acids and botanicals at dosages backed by scientific research. Continue Reading →

Toy Review: Smartballs Teneo Silicone Kegel Balls

Thanks again to our affiliates at Good Vibrations, I recently received my very own Silicone Kegel Balls by Teneo. Though these are the first Kegel balls I’ve reviewed, I was really impressed! I wasn’t surprised to hear that the Smartballs won a 2010 award for best product design. The silicone balls come in a variety of colors, and have a sleek, streamlined design…and they kind of look like miniature Death Stars (forgive my nerdy associations). For those of you that aren’t familiar with Kegel balls, here’s a little info:

-They’re used to strengthen the PC muscles in the pelvic floor. Continue Reading →

The Ultimate Way to Rise and Shine

Waking up in the a.m. may not be your favorite thing to do when the sunlight comes pouring through your windows. But if it’s something you truly dread, it may be time to upgrade the way you roll out of bed. But how on earth can you make waking up more enjoyable? (Glad you asked!) You may be the perfect candidate for the ‘Little Rooster’—the half vibrator, half alarm clock device that fits right inside of your panties (totally not kidding). Continue Reading →

Cunnilingus vs. Fellatio

A friend of mine was posting on Facebook about how blow jobs are dead, after he read an article from Esquire. Now, that’s not quite what the article says. The article is indeed called “The Observation: The Demise of the Blow Job” (but comes up in my browser as “Death of the Blow Job”), but it’s less about the death of fellatio and more about the rise of cunnilingus. To be fair, the author does mention that the 8 out of 10 men who prefer cunnilingus to fellatio are their “mature male friends”, and the 2 who prefer fellatio are gay. I’m not sure if it’s true that cunnilingus has fallen into favor, or if maybe people are more comfortable talking about it and it’s just getting more attention. Continue Reading →

Our New Research: Women’s Exercise-Induced Orgasms

Our new study about women’s experiences of having exercise-induced orgasms is out and makings its way around the Interwebs. You can read the release below, find more detailed information about exercise-induced orgasms (what some call “coregasms”) in my brand new book Sex Made Easy, and you can also ask  me questions about our research by emailing me at I’ll be answering questions about our study here and/or on my Psychology Today blog later this week. **

Contact: Tracy James
Indiana University
Study: Exercise can lead to female orgasm, sexual pleasure

 IMAGE: This is researcher Debby Herbenick. Click here for more information. 

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. Continue Reading →

Toy Review: Good Vibes Moonlight Serenade Kit

Thanks to the lovely Camilla at Good Vibes, I recently received the Moonlight Serenade Kit, a sweet little bundle that includes the adorable Bootie Anal Plug, a 2 oz bottle of Please gel lubricant, and the Screaming O cock-ring, for only $39. I highly recommend this kit to anyone wanting to explore anal play for the first time, as it’s super easy to use and visually pleasing. The Bootie

-it’s adorable! I received one in purple that is small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. -it’s easy to clean. Continue Reading →

Harness Heaven

During a recent trip to Good Vibrations in Brookline, MA, I was pleased to see that strap-on harnesses are getting a bit of a facelift! Instead of the usual basic black harnesses, the store offered an array of snazzy themed harnesses. This got me thinking about the importance of choosing a good harness. Before I tell you my faves, here’s what you should keep in mind when looking for a harness:

1. Bring your toys with you when purchasing a harness. Continue Reading →

Turning Someone On Without Even Touching Them

Turning Someone On Without Touch from Debby Herbenick on Vimeo. Dr. David Schnarch, in Passionate Marriage, talks about intimacy and connection as a means of turning one’s partner on. And of course it makes much sense: touching or licking a partner is only one way to turn someone and it doesn’t always work. If you and your partner don’t feel psychologically connected then even very good sexual technique may hit a few dead ends. So, consider these thoughts on turning on your partner without even touching them. Continue Reading →

Penis Size and Good Sex

Penis Size and Good Sex from Debby Herbenick on Vimeo. What’s the average penis size? And what size penis does it take for good sex? Thoughts on these questions and other genital fit related issues (plus intimacy and chemistry between two people) in the above video. Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor Continue Reading →