Why “Daggy” Should Be the New “Sexy”

Epic daggy face

Epic daggy face

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this gem-of-a-slang-word, “daggy” (adj.) is an Australian term used semi-affectionately to describe things that are unpopular, un-chic, or uncool. It’s a bit like “nerdy” but without the intellectual association.

The noun form, “dag,” can be used to classify people as in “Kate, you like watching NCIS marathons with your parents? You’re such a dag.” It’s not insulting exactly – more like the kind of sarcastic teasing Aussies do when they like you.

Literally, a “dag” is the clump of wool around a sheep’s bottom that is matted with poop. I think it says quite a bit about the Australian consciousness that this particular word is used in (relatively) polite conversation.

On the benefits of dagginess:

I have learned to embrace my inner (and not-so-inner) dag. In fact, much of my twenties has been spent figuring out what I actually like and am interested in, rather than what my friendship group, family, or culture tells me I should be into. I can remember being in my late teens and feeling really self-conscious about the fact that despite my lefty politics, I really liked country music. I will now unashamedly post photos on facebook of me at a Garth Brooks concert. And I am so much happier for it.

Learning what we genuinely like and how we can articulate that to others is pivotal to having the most awesome sex we can have. Rather than doing what you’ve been told is cool or edgy just for the sake of it, do what you love.

Sex educators and feminists often comment on the ways that pop culture encourages people to be performers, rather than participants, in their sex lives. For women especially, it’s about being “sexy” rather than keying into what really does it for them. What really does it can sometimes be daggy.

Recently after one of my workshops, a woman was telling me that the position that most does it for her is missionary. She seemed a little embarrassed about this disclosure, as if she needed to have an advanced Kama Sutra repertoire to be a sexually empowered woman. Enter sex educator face and a, “Yep, that’s something I’ve heard from many women.” She looked relieved – like I’d validated her dagginess.

I’d encourage you to ask yourself: What is it that really does it for you? In music, food, and sex? As long as it’s experienced between consenting adults*, embrace your inner dag.

*Note: my husband is not subjected to my music tastes at home. This is something I enjoy in private or in the company of other country fans. No means no on this one.

About Kate McCombs

Kate McCombs

Kate McCombs, MPH is a NYC-based sex educator + blogger. She's the founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for sex educators, researchers, and other folks who love having geeky conversations about sex.