The Riddle of Here and Why Curiosity Matters to Sex

This short film is so beautiful and precious (thanks, L, for sending it to me). There is so much potential for love, grace, connection and intimacy in the world. I hope you stop and take notice of it as much as the world takes notice of you. And I hope you get to see how much the world does, in fact, take notice of things that are special about you.

Too often people feel invisible or treat others as if they are invisible or less than special. And yet there’s something about being curious about other people that bridges gaps and helps people to feel connected: when we ask how someone is doing, what they are reading, what they are thinking, dreaming, writing or creating and we generally care and want to know what they have to say.

Some say curiosity leads to understanding or compassion, which I agree with. I also think that, in romantic relationships, it leads to connection which can ultimately lead to greater intimacy and sexual pleasure.

About Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sex researcher at Indiana University, sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, columnist, and author of five books about sex and love. Learn more about her work at